The above photo is from my spec music video http://www.vimeo.com/10185620 password: BRMC

Monday, June 17, 2013

Subtle Hints


There is a certain gracefulness that can be attained with hints.

Sometimes, you can deliver hints like a master ninja - throwing out unspoken desires with the grace of a spring breeze, gently tickling the hairs on the back of your neck.  WHAM! Dead.  No one saw it coming!  Whoa..........

Then... there are other times... 

Times where hints materialize with the quaint subtly of a bazooka firing on a pinata.  At that moment, you become the six-year old with the flaming pinata party, scarred for life from the burning pieces of candy goo sliding down your face.  

My parents did this recently.  They "hinted" to me with the subtly of Charlton Heston parting the Red Sea.  And I was the pinata... a donkey perhaps.

I like vintage robots.  Yes, I'll admit to that.  I don't collect them or anything but I do own a single vintage robot toy that stands on my desk:



He looked a little challenged, so I named him "Ronnie" because I felt, "Ronnie" would be the name of the guy I'd cast to play RonnieThe Slow Robot, in the subsequent motion picture of his adventures.  The poor guy is living there by himself on my desk -  alone, like a bachelor.  So my parents had an brillant idea.

During their last visit, they were kind enough to give me a gift.  Smiling, they unwrapped a new vintage robot toy and placed it next to Ronnie:


Her name was "Venus" robot.  Apparently she cleaned and did other shit, all while wearing nothing but a painted apron on her torso.  Hmm...

My parents grinned at me as we stared at Fraulein Venus in silence.  "Don't you get it? Venus robot!?" They laughed together.  I coldly stared back in silence.

My mother nudged the FEMALE robot closer to the MALE robot with her hand.  She then looked up at me and smiled.

I crossed my arms... THIS IS FUCKED UP.  Real subtle guys.  Smooth.  Thanks for the subliminal message.  Thanks for reminding me that I am single right now.  Really clever... AND, just FYI, by the process of elimination, you have made me into the challenged robot. I AM RONNIE. I AM SLOW AND ALONE.  

Yes... I, John Dion, was offended and I was going to call them out on their so-called "hint"...

I looked my parents directly in the eyes and spoke knowingly:

"SO YOU WANT ME TO FIND A MIDGET WOMAN, HUH?!"

Silence.

Sighs.  

At that moment, the gears in the Venus robot activated.  She threw herself off the desk and into the great carpet beyond.



2 comments:

  1. Hey John! This is great! I had no idea you had a blog post! Keep up the writing xoxo Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, hysterical. Why didn't I think of getting you a Venus?

    ReplyDelete