The above photo is from my spec music video password: BRMC

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Discrete Charm of the Vatican

You know, when you visit places so monumental, so huge in importance or scope, it’s often hard to notice the little things.

But as many a wise men have pointed out, “God is in the details”.  (The converse being, “The Devil is in the details” but we won’t go there since we’re talking about the Vatican).

I visited the Vatican in Rome for the first time.  And yes, I was blown away by its size and ornamentation.  And yes, I was amazed by its history and importance in the world.

But those reactions are a given.

It was in fact the little unique surprises that charmed me…  the little unknown details.

For example, the Holy Tennis Court:

As you can see the Holy Playskool Slide is nearby
I don’t actually know if that’s the official name, but it seems to be the only court (tennis in nature) within the Vatican walls.  Hence, given that everything within the Vatican seems to be “holy”, we can only assume that this is a godly tennis court.

Now a person might ask, “Why does the Vatican need a tennis court?”  And I would answer, “Who the fuck knows?”  Either way, I would very much like to play tennis there one day despite my bad habit of yelling out “Jesus Christ” when fouling a serve.

Another example is the Holy Electrified-Fencing:

An apostle is wired...
In fact they're all wired...

If you’re a pigeon and you think for one moment you’re going to take a shit on Jesus or one of the apostles… well you thought wrong.  The Vatican is going to send your ass into the beyond in an instant.  Instead of forgiving these birds for what they are, we can only assume there is also a Holy Dislike of the pigeon.

Last but not least, is the refreshment stand on the roof of St. Peter’s Basilica:

After a long climb up the stairs of the dome (which feels more like a Stairmaster in a sweat lodge) you’re hot as Hell.  And what better way to combat Hell than with the Holy Refreshment Stand?  Unfortunately, the lemonade I have to say isn’t too godly… and neither is the service.  But we’re here to forgive, right?

So, if you ever go to the Vatican, look out for the small things…  The finer touches that make any trip, divine.

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